The Littlest Sister

That weekend was gorgeous.  It was a perfectly sunny, but crisp, fall day and I was nestled in a cabin, next to one of the most scenic lakes Alaska has to offer, with three or four of my favorite Alaskan women.  The weekend was organized by the Women's Ministry of the church I had been a member of in Anchorage and featured a speaker from somewhere in the Lower 48. The topic, "Forgiveness".

Even considering the gravity of some of the events of my 27 years on the planet, I knew it would be "old news".  I was all too familiar with the ins and outs of genuine forgiveness and really had nothing unresolved in my heart.  I was expecting peace, rest, laughter and relaxation.

Hmmmm, nope.  For some reason I found myself heavy-hearted, burdened beyond reason, tears leaking nearly constantly down my cheeks.  I searched myself...why?  My life held no conflict outside of the norm, yet my soul was crushed. As I packed my things to go home, I felt almost desperate to talk to my youngest sister.  The topic coursing through my head seemed like million years old and would be completely unconnected to our current, nearly non-existent, relationship.

She was 19 and was living nearly 4,000 miles away in Southern Arizona.  She had just finished a flight attendant academy and was living and working on her own for the first time.  Being seven years older than her, I had very little in common with her and being so far away wasn't helping us naturally maintain a relationship.

When I got home from the weekend at the lake, I took a nap.  Surely with a little sleep I'd feel more normal.  Nope, the feeling of burden had only deepened while I slept.  I woke up and called her.  I don't remember how I started the conversation, but I do remember she needed me.  The conversation was gut wrenching and raw.  I heard her out, then called in parental reinforcement.  The burdened lifted, the unexplained tears dried...

I have only had a few times in my life like that weekend.  Today was that kind of day for me again.  The circumstances and person on my heart were completely different, but I don't feel like getting into that for now.  Instead, I'll tell you I called my littlest sister for encouragement.  Talking to her was exactly what I needed. 

Here's a few reasons why she's one of my favorites:

Growing up, because she's so much younger than me, she was always easy to get along with for me.  She was a gorgeous toddler and would remind people constantly: "I cute..."  By the time she arrived at her teen years, I had just left mine.  She had gotten quiet and shy and spent most of her time reading around the house.  I was living in a different state and was starting my career and marriage.  Although she spent a summer, while she was in high school, working as my nanny, we were largely, strangers.

After that conversation I told you about on the phone in Alaska, I intentionally worked to get to know her.  At the time she was engaged to her high school sweetheart.  She is very much opposite of me personality-wise.  She is internal, a watcher of people.  She prefers to be on the outskirts of a group rather than center stage.  When she speaks she is direct and doesn't mince words.  She is not passive or weak.  She is sensitive and loving to people around her and very easy to open up to.

Her life as an adult immediately put her in the refining fire.  She had two children, almost immediately, after marriage.  Both were born extremely prematurely, 2 1/2 months and 3 months early, respectively.  With her eldest, the stress of having a extreme preemie was rivaled only by the stress of having the state CPS office drop by to observe her mothering abilities.  Someone involved in her daughter's medical care was certain that a very young mother, with an extreme preemie, could not possibly be doing it right.  She was.  It didn't take long for her to prove herself, but none-the-less, the fear of losing her daughter was nearly overwhelming.

With her second pregnancy, while mothering a toddler, she spent 6 weeks in the hospital before the emergency c-section that saved her life as well as that of her son.  As her big sister during this time, I can not express the admiration I had for her.  As a result of her trials, she has been shaped into a faithful, patient, strong woman.  She is a beautiful, loving, supportive wife with a fantastic husband.  I have nothing but respect for them both.  I am so dang thankful for these people that call me "sister"!

2007

Pregnant with her son, just prior to her 6 week hospital stay that ended in emergency c-section.

Hanging out with my 3 lb niece in 2005

 Loving on her 2 lb son in 2007

On her anniversary, with her high school sweetie and husband of 7 years.

The other aunt and I getting a little play time with her kiddos in 2009

One of the most trustworthy, tight lipped women I know!  I love you Suzy-Q.