How's That Again?: This Momma's Grace

I held a newborn today.

I inhaled his sweet, mommy-crack, fresh baby, fragrance. I felt him stretch his teeny bum and then re-tuck his scrawny legs under himself- to my chest. He grunted and squirmed and peeked at me through one, barely open eye. He stuck his lip out and tucked his face to my neck. Oh-my-goodness, I'm in love! For a few minutes I stared at his sweet, innocent, perfect face and features. Wild, dark hair, perfect ears, button nose... He has NO idea the tears, prayers, faith, hope and intense love his sweet little life is responsible for. He may never.

I tried to remember my own newborns, but my mind is cob-webbed. So, I watched his new momma. She, in her sleep deprived, postpartum fog, watched her little boy with pride and love-filled eyes as he passed from one set of arms to the next. I can't decide if my favorite thing was holding him or watching her...

As we chatted, laughed, cooed, told stories about our own kids, pretended not to have a lump in our throats and imparted bits of hard earned mothering wisdom to our newest mom club member, I couldn't help but hear again one of the flickering words of September:

Grace

Incidentally, accidentally, it's my daughter's name, twice. Her first name, Hannah, means "Grace" or "God has favored me". Her middle name is Grace meaning "God's favor or blessing".

Mr. Webster uses synonyms such as: forgiveness, charity, mercifulness, lenity, leniency, reprieve, kindness, kindliness, love, benignity.

I thought, briefly, about the billions of mistakes I've made in each of my children's lives since they were 7lbs. I tried not to project the millions more I'll make before their 18th birthdays. Instead, as I watched the baby sleep and thought about my own kids' tiny fingers in mine and chubby arms around my neck, I marveled. "...Be gracious toward yourself", I told the new mom, "you've never been a mom before." Huh. I hadn't either, before I had an infant, or a toddler, or a kindergartner, or a teenager... I need to take my advice. Their, less-chubby, arms still willingly hug my neck, their less-tiny fingers still wrap around mine.

I don't deserve it, but I've got it- this momma's grace. For that, I am beyond amazed and forever grateful.

Soooooo, bear with me as I get a little nostalgic, I had to dig up a few memories of my favorite newborns: