Take Heart

This week is dumb.  Actually, soothing and stabbing is a better way to describe it.  This is the week two years ago that my marital unraveling became public.  On this day in 2010 I signed a 6 month lease on my apartment and started the awful task of separating nearly 14 years of life together.  Superbowl Sunday 2010 was moving day. Most of the memories of the week are horrible to reflect on, but today I vividly remember that, somehow, I still had hope.

Also this week, in 2011, I went in front of the judge with the stack of thoughtfully, tearfully, lovingly, (expensively) crafted details of what life is supposed to look like, legally speaking, for us from now on.  She signed them with barely a glance, hardly a question- ending 4 days, 4 months shy of 14 years of my life.  I was the first case that day.  There would be no way to over exaggerate the sadness of that morning.  I went directly to work following court.  I had a brand new client, I needed to be professional, creative, witty, charming.  There would be time for tears later.  My first client that day was a godsend.  Another example of a gracious, protecting Father- who has been moving people in and out of my life, just in time,with just the right words.  And I had hope.

This week in 2012 began with another end.  This time, soothing, stabbing, awful, okay.  I'm not ready to shout out loud, but maybe I can find the strength to whisper the words of the song in my head all day:

...

So take heart

Let His love lead us through the night
Hold on to hope
And take courage again

In death by love
The fallen world was overcome
He wears the scars of our freedom
In His Name
All our fears are swept away
He never fails

... 

All our failure
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome
All our heartache
And all our pain
God our healer
He has overcome

I'll get through this week just like I did last year, the year before, next year: One step in faith at a time. I haven't been consumed by this refining fire yet.  God's love has not failed, has not given up, has not run out on me!  I still have hope.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever things are noble, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any virtue or anything praiseworthy, think about these things."