Stuff is rapidly coming together for me because apparently, conceptual repetition is my friend. Unfortunately for you, if you've read my blog since the beginning, you're being drug along from room to room with me as I do my spring cleaning, because nothing I am telling you about today (this month, really) is new. I can't apologize though. Every room needs the same elbow-grease effort, even if it will feel overly familiar by the time I get to the end of this work.
Today's Conversation #1
The girl is cute. A gorgeous blonde, petite figure, with energy for days and business-woman ambition, she's the mother of two INCREDIBLY beautiful little girls. She married her junior high/high school sweetheart and lived happily ever after. Mostly.
We've had a professional relationship for a couple of years, but lately we're starting to know each other on a deeper level. Somehow the conversation came around to religion, churches and how we were raised. Yup, Professional Etiquette 101, Rule #1 says, "Stay away from religious, political or controversial topics with clients." (Shhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone, I break ALL the rules and people still seem to re-book.)
Anywho, her story gave me some perspective and encouragement. God is faithful. Whether we tend to be overly strict and pious, or ridiculously lax and apathetic in our understanding of Him, His Law, and His Son, we are repeatedly each given the opportunity to know Him personally.
The biggest take-away from Conversation #1? I need to ask God who He is and what He expects of me pertaining to my sin and purpose. Being dependent on other people to define Him or His "rules", whether it's a well meaning friend, parent, teacher, pastor or priest, will never satisfy. In fact, that scenario is the perfect breeding ground for frustrated, bitter, disillusionment and facade manufacturing.
Can you tell I'm passionate about that? So, my very next client opened this can of worms...
Conversation #2
This woman is so darn great! She's only been in my chair twice, but even before she was a client, as a virtual stranger, she nearly single-handedly painted my house. (Yes, I'm THAT blessed- friends recruit strangers to take care of my needs these days. A-MA-ZING.) She is the gentle, artistic, organized, mother of two ADORABLE little boys. She married the man of her dreams, after living a short lifetime of experiences and lessons- learned the hard way. Our conversation started with the topic of romantic love. Don't get me wrong, I do deeply love, but the reality is that I have very little to add to a conversation like that, so I listened.
"You know when you know that it's right, even if you don't want it to be." She said. She had made enough mistakes, thinking she knew, hoping she knew... When he came along, there was no doubt. However, she did resist for awhile, what she instantly knew. Weird how we are sometimes, when we actually get what we want right in front of us, huh?
Anyway, that conversation, somehow, morphed from romantic relationships to general relationships to spiritual relationships and then to the topic of discipline. She quoted her favorite verse:
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
~Proverbs 3:11-12 & Hebrews 12:5-6
For the rest of the appointment we discussed the difference between punishment and discipline. An athlete disciplines their body, never punishes it... sometimes it's still so easy to hear the "God loves me when I'm good and is angry at me when I'm bad" narrative I've believed for all these years. No. God is training me through discipline, for a specific use that He has in mind. These dark-jungle days have meaning in the mind of my Trainer. If He promised pain, it can't be meaningless. He is good.
Conversation #3
Finally, this woman is a friend. She is beautiful, generous, incredibly hardworking, broken. So many abuses have been inflicted upon her, I'm not sure she knows who to start forgiving first. She is desperately trying to find reason in it all. There is none. Still, her heart aches to find grace for her abusers. Our conversation was one that could be summed up with "If God is so good, then why...?" I see her point. I've felt her desperation.
So she asked, "If God is all about love and forgiveness, then he can't punish anyone right? He always has to forgive because of Jesus, right?" We spent the next several minutes talking about wrath (redefined) and the necessity for God to be perfect love and perfect justice. We discussed that Jesus said "it is finished", but that individually, we have to accept his offer to pay our sin debt.
"Free" is hard to accept, isn't it?
And that, my friend, is a perfect way to leave you while I re-read my love letters... I'll explain all that later.
Goodnight
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