Survival, Evasion, Resistance, Escape School is designed to equip our military for complex "worst case" scenarios and is especially vital for leaders who will deploy into enemy territory. This is different than Marine or Navy boot camp, Officer Candidate School, War College, or Tactical Training Schools, and yet works in tandem with the other equipping military service members are provided.
The spiritual implications that are emerging as I recall these worst case scenario battle prepping concepts, are profound. OFTEN over the last 6-9 months I realize there are floating thoughts in my head such as "God is building his Army" and "the angels of the Lord are warring angels". There has been a very real sense of the urgency of understanding "battle" as in "the battle belongs to the Lord", "we do not war against flesh and blood," and "don't neglect to take up your armor Collene, they are trying to devour you".
I'll leave those thoughts there for now because I think you get my point. The Lord has military-like, specific purpose in the testing of me and that fact has become a very real source of comfort. 2 Samuel 22 is almost a complete summary of my top 12 concepts, but for this morning's purpose I'll direct you to verses 35-36 which say "he trains my hands for war so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You have given me the shield of your salvation and your gentleness made me great." Then in verse 40 David writes "for you equipped me with strength for the battle; you made those who rise against me sink under me."
I HATE conflict. I hate war. I hate debate and I am often uncomfortable with disagreement. However, do you know who LOVES war, conflict, bloodshed and especially death? My enemies do. So I can play in what I'd like to believe is a field of daisies and avoid noticing the brutal truth that it is in reality a battlefield; If I don't choose to look up and see the truth, I will be destroyed... OR I can armor up and war successfully every time doing it the King's way. (As a side note, one of my favorite war stories is Gideon's "attack" on Midian in Judges 7 using only trumpets and empty jars. The sound of the jars breaking and the trumpets blaring terrified the enemy who turned on each other and defeated themselves. This is the kind of war a girl could wear her heels to!)
Doing it the "King's way" is irrational OFTEN to our understanding, but is ALWAYS successful. What a kindness of the Lord to force me into SERE school this year, and not a moment too late! I'm keeping the daisies I've picked though, because, well, I like daisies and dancing in pretty dresses and I'm positive warrior princesses still get to enjoy the "still waters" and "green pastures" of Psalm 23 after the battle.
If you missed the last blog- the intro to this one, you can read here to catch up. At first I was surprised at how long it got, but then I was a little impressed that I condensed so much real-life learning into such a small space. Today's blog will not be any shorter and I'm not a bit apologetic about that. To give you context I should tell you that I have nearly completed nearly 300 spiral notebook pages of questions, notable thoughts, quotes, scripture references and prayers since January 1st. I went to sleep last night thinking about all of the micro-lesson words, phrases, and situational testings that I haven't told you about; I slept pretty darn well...
As a reminder, we were in the middle of the top 12 theme words or phrases that have characterized the last five months of a spiritual SERE school. I still owe you the top 6:
6- Walk
5- Forgiveness
4- Humility
3- Faithfulness
2- Mercy
1- Steadfast Love
6- Walk
There's not anything altogether profound in this concept. However, there are days or full seasons of every life where sitting next to the road and quitting the fight seems like a better option than trudging through the mud, rain, wind and hail, or the slow crawl in the scorching sun. Maybe day to day life has become "uphill both ways" and there is no way to reconcile it. Quite frankly, just to let you know, the side of the road in some sections has steep drop-offs too, so sitting isn't comfortable either. There's no city up ahead and no fellow travelers to satisfactorily keep you company around the clock. There's only you. And God, of course, but he usually seems silent and distant when he's administering a test. This is the kind of season that fits the "Day of Trouble" I referenced in the "Cry" section the other day.
I read out of duty through Leviticus, I found some encouragement and an interest in details for sure, but then there was Numbers... and real life around me was experiencing a hurricane. "Walk" was the whisper I heard. In the days of Numbers after my "assigned" reading for the day, I skipped ahead and then backwards in my reading to what had comforted me before. Here's where "religion" falls off and "relationship" takes shape regarding a person and his or her Maker.
I couldn't care how many "men equipped for war belonged to what tribe"... and I needed peace and hope STAT. I found verses like Genesis 13:17 which says "Arise, walk through the length and the breadth of the land, for I will give it to you." This obviously is a specific promise to Abram, but it bounced off the page like it was personal to me when I saw it. I also saw and hid in my heart verses that told me how to walk: in the truth, in integrity, in faith- not by what I see, but by what I know... I was reminded about the lesson I blogged about last which requires me to walk impossibly "on water", against human advice and wisdom and with my eyes fixed on the Fixer... I was reminded were to find shelter and told not to be my own defender... I found energy to keep moving. I found nearness to the Lord in his silence. We walked. We are still walking...
While I'm still on the road of the same circumstances, it seems a whole lot wider because of the promises I'm discovering and the nearness of the Lord that I'm experiencing. I do believe there is a city of rest up ahead. I'll probably order the steak when I get there.
5- Forgiveness
We all know something about forgiveness. It's a nice word we were taught when our little brother took our toy, Mom made him say, "I'm sorry" and then made you say, "I forgive you". The case for forgiveness I am finding in the stuff I am reading is not the lip service version that leaves deep resentment building in the basement of our heart and mind.
What I'm seeing is MUCH more profound, impossible to do alone, and is a literal requirement as proof of salvation. Matthew 6:15 says "but if you do not forgive others for their sins, your father will not forgive you of yours." and 1 John 4:20 reminds us "whoever claims to love God but hates his brother or sister is a liar..." Those are blunt reminders that "to whom much is given, much will be required" and that we were "bought with a price and for a purpose"- forgiveness being one of the keys to unlocking that requirement and purpose.
We can all get over someone taking our toy or calling us a stupid word. We can even fathom setting aside conflict inside ourselves to build relationship with someone who passed us over for promotion or quite possibly allowed a lie to interrupt our trust. Humans can do all of that alone, without supernatural intervention. Some choose to, some do not.
I'm reading about people who were faced with situations that required a real intervention by God himself who promises over and over that he will have vengeance and execute perfect justice if we back off, hush, and let him. The thing about The Bible that seems to really tick some people off is the record of all the terrible disfunction. That's my favorite part! God doesn't hide our mess for us, he exposes it, deals with us in it, and heals it and restores us- if we're willing. As I've read some of the most commonly told Sunday School stories I've tried to place myself in the shoes of the B, C, D-list characters. I already mentioned Hagar's unplanned-by-her pregnancy with Abraham and subsequent rejection last time. And yet, that poor woman did not a get reputation for bitterness, but rather was specifically protected and blessed by God for her obedience and trust.
I wish I had time to re-tell all of the profound cases of forgiveness and the tragic cases of un-forgiveness that have challenged my spirit these months. There's Absalom who had a very good case for anger when his sister was raped by their half-brother and then nationally disgraced. His justified anger brewed and boiled for years and then morphed into rage. As a result he became angry at nearly everyone around him, always finding a way to justify his bitterness. He decided his father should have done more to punish his brother so he took matter into his own hands and murdered his brother himself. Since un-forgiveness is not solved by revenge, his ire needed a new target. The obvious choice to him was his father the king. Absalom skipped town to avoid facing murder charges and marinated in madness as he plotted his continued revenge. He worked diligently plotting and scheming for years to turn people in the kingdom against his own father, their king. You really should read it for yourself, but ultimately Absalom's un-forgiveness resulted in his own violent and completely unnecessary death and added to the loss-of-yet-another-son grief for his father. Forgiveness would have changed everything.
There was also Joseph's little sibling rivalry in which he wasn't just thrown into the school locker between class. His brothers soaked him in well-water for awhile before deciding to sell him as a slave to some strangers passing through on their way out of the country. They kept the money and said, not just that he was dead, but that he had been devoured by a wild animal. They went so far as to kill an animal and cover his coat in blood to sell their lie.
Imagine that trauma of that as a parent, just for a minute. Imagine the fear and feelings of betrayal young Joseph felt. Think of the wickedness it takes to devise and carry out such a scheme. Think of the hatred they had for their brother in the first place, and why? Because, they were jealous and unforgiving- not because of something he did- but because of their father's affection for him.
Wow.
Is it any wonder why he was a favorite and they were not? Now, remind yourself that the story doesn't just end happily ever after in a few weeks or months. The entire life story of Joseph is one of hardship and endurance- and a masterful covering of protection because of his obedience to forgive and trust God's plan. In fact, because of Joseph's obedience to forgive, even and especially without his brothers' repentance or even a vague "I'm sorry", God used him to be reunited with his father and to save his family as well as the entire country from a famine years later. All of that was made possible from having been blessed by God with becoming second in command over the entire country of Egypt, his country of slavery nonetheless.
Here I would like to insert the word "exalt" as a micro-theme which I will put on pause as it segues nicely into number 4...
4- Humility
This concept is easy to understand academically and hard live as a lifestyle. We are born with human reflexes of pride, defensiveness, self -protection, -promotion and -interest. The idea of humility is to lay down my right to justify, explain, defend, ask why, go first, have the best, the biggest, the nicest... It literally means to have a low view of your own importance in comparison to another's. It's not wimpy or insecure, but rather gives a picture of strength intentionally deferred to another because of their best interest. Essential at it's core is the recognition that I am not a god, but that I am at the ultimate mercy of The God. He gives and takes away and that needs to be okay if I am to be humble.
My favorite Old Testament example of humility can be found in various situations in the life of King David. He wasn't a perfect guy for sure, but he was the king over a gazillion people and had an impressive war-time resume. Oh, and he was hand picked by God himself through a prophet to be king when he was just a pre-teen kid working the family farm. Additionally, as a kid, he was chosen by the people who worked for King Saul to play music at the palace. The guy was handsome, talented, chosen, intelligent and all around successful. And yet, he deferred his strengths frequently to seek the heart of God on matters you and I would have just thought through and pulled the trigger on. He even chose humility to minister to his people from a cave when they lacked hope, all while his own life was in danger, appeared to be falling apart and while he still held the title of king.
So, "humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and HE will exalt you" became a heart anthem of my own as I read of the proof for Joseph, David and Job. "Get low, to get through" are the whispering words of advice on this obstacle course. If you want to be noticed, get low and stay low until God exalts you; THAT is a lasting exaltation and requires the most minimal effort.
3- Faithfulness
I'm having a hard time really articulating how incredible threaded together these concepts are- especially the top three. When I went to Turkey in 2016, I was blessed to have an opportunity to watch a woman hand-weave a Turkish rug. The time consuming, physically demanding, knotting strands of silk together to form an entire floor piece is intense- and I haven't even begun to describe what it takes to get the silk to begin the project in the first place!
If each of those knots represents a page in the syllabus I'm studying, you'll understand the complexity and the beauty of my process. I don't have time to make a rug here so I imagine a few of these concepts will get their own blogs in the future.
In nearly every chapter of my bible I have found the word "faithfulness". It used to be one of those religious bumpersticker words that would cause me to roll my eyes. It's almost an archaic idea in our modern culture. We aren't really faithful to anything; absolutely everything is disposable. There's always a new, more convenient option or method- out with the old, in with the new. In the name of "progress" we don't commit to anything or anyone anymore. Careers, styles, spouses, technology, ideals, locations, churches... we are not a "faithful" people and we even mock faithfulness as though it were a "stuck" mentality, and unhealthy way of thinking or behaving. Until, that is, we need someone to be faithful to us...
This is true in the realm of business and the workplace as well as in marriage and family relationships. We need our bosses to NOT replace us with a computer. We need them to be faithful to appreciate our instincts and skills. We need them to faithfully pay us, and to faithfully consider us in their decision making. Recently I was listening to a near-retirement aged woman lament about the unfaithfulness of her boss. The entire company found out on a Friday that they no longer had jobs- not because the boss notified them, mind you, but because the bank showed up and repossessed all of the company assets while they were working that day. The boss was nowhere to be found. Unfaithfulness is terrifying.
It's also heartbreaking. We all know of stories of parents who are unfaithful to their children in protection or provision. Maybe we were that child... We are keenly aware that faithfulness to marriage vows is at an all time low statistically world wide. People simply do not view contracts as unbreakable anymore in any context. Finding loopholes are big business and entire companies are set up and maintained reliant on our unfaithful nature.
God is FAITHFUL.
Israel was, and still is, the epitome of unfaithful. I know I bring up Israel and the wandering after the Exodus a lot in this blog. I don't apologize. The Lord, in his wisdom, chose that nation to represent him, his character, his attributes and his plan so should it be a surprise that through their story, I should find solace in mine? I even named my dog Moses to remind me in case I should forget...
This past weekend was the Hebrew holiday Shavout. Because I'm starting to understand that obedience to the words of the Lord are the key that unlocks the door of the stronghold of safety in the battle, I have become very interested in the feasts and holidays set up by God. There are seven and they are all important to him. Shavout is one of those. In my research I discovered it is the celebration of the marriage contract and the giving of the Torah to the entire nation of Israel at the foot of Mount Sinai. In other words, it's the wedding anniversary that the Groom wants to celebrate with his Bride, every year...
CONSISTENTLY, throughout history God has been the faithful "groom"- in thoughts, words and actions. Consistently his "bride" has been chasing the newest, most progressive, most convenient, shiniest, tastiest, most self-promoting method, ideology, god or habits of the day- all the while wanting the benefits of the marriage without the responsibility of it.
You see the heartbreak here? The faithfulness of the Groom is incredibly motivating to me as a bride. I have a deep desire to offer him my faithfulness in return. All of that other stuff has and expiration date anyway...
2- Mercy
Mercy as it pertains to the Lord is most certainly not a new concept to me. It's what I've been banking on for decades. It's not that I didn't see it before, but I didn't experience its cost before this year:
The Lord's expectation for us as disciples of his Son is NOT that we simply hang out with a pretty great God for the rest of our lives. His expectation as his adopted sons and daughters is that we BECOME the attributes of Jesus in order that we show others what he looks like- so that they in turn desire to be saved and also become like him.... you see the pattern here? It's not enough to receive it, we are supposed to give it, so others can receive it and give it and on and on.
So that's fun, when people are nice and their past is, well, not present.
The online dictionary definition of mercy is this: "Compassion or forgiveness shown towards someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm."
Now you see the threads knotting a bit here? "Compassion" is also on my list of words and you've already briefly seen my thoughts about "forgiveness". I'd like to focus on the part about "...within one's power to punish or harm".
The idea of mercy is not only in a "not giving someone what they deserve" context, but also contains the power, right or authority to do so. It would be like a federal prosecutor choosing to lesson or drop the charges of a crime, setting a prisoner free to live a life of their choosing- with no strings attached. It's the parent overlooking the lie to bestow a gift on the undeserving child instead. It's the wife who has proof of abuse, or the husband who has proof of infidelity, who choose to remain kind and committed rather than to retaliate, prosecute or discard. It's the child who was too small to defend himself while he was young, but now has the height and strength to teach his abusive parent "a lesson" of their own yet chooses to be a loving caretaker instead in their final years. It's the employee who has information that could get a coworker fired but chooses to instead befriend and encourage him.
My favorite scriptural example is found at the end of the story of Job. He had been deeply tested in his faith and endurance. I think most of us know the story. If not, do go read it today! After Job's "friends" had spent the greater part of the story harassing Job and trying to get him to admit to a sin they assumed and deeply believed he had committed, God showed up and put them in their place. He's more than a little angry at their treatment of Job and the careless and false way they used truths about God's character to speak lies about Job's situation. Job had remained truthful, alone and in excruciating pain and horrible confusion. After dealing with the friends, God commends Job for graduating the testing and justly gives him the power to decide the friends' demise. Job chooses to ask the Lord "NOT to deal with them according to their folly" but to deal mercifully with them. Scripture then says "and the Lord restored the fortunes of Job when he had prayed for his friends and the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before."
James 2:13 says "For judgement is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgement."
Matthew 5:7 says the same thing in the positive: "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."
2 Samuel 22:26-27 assure me that "with the merciful you show yourself merciful; with the blameless man you show yourself blameless; with the purified you deal purely, and with the crooked you make yourself seem tortuous. You save humble people; but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them down."
It's not a free-for-all, which is a comforting thought. God gets to sort out the ultimate judgement, but since we are all in need of mercy there's a LOT of opportunity to practice with each other until that day. Meanwhile, we ARE called to walk (remember that word?) in step with the Spirit's leading. Not prosecuting abuse, for example, could be based in foolishness or fear. Prosecution may be the very thing the Lord set up to protect us and heal us. "His way" is not the same for every situation and it's vital to be operating outside of our own understanding and to be well connected in relationship to the Father through his Spirit.
His ways are higher and more courageous than ours. They remove mountains of impossibility and "it's not by might or by power, but by (His) Spirit, says the Lord".
1- Steadfast Love
Initially the pervasive word was simply "steadfast", but that quickly melded together in my studies with the word "love". Because of the insane number of times I've read it, heard it, and thought it in the last five months, this is easily the number one concept the Lord is teaching me in this school. Both words have power as a stand alone concept, but I'm learning that together they are simply supernatural in application. To put it another way, it is a human impossibility to live in "steadfast love".
I'll tell you why, but first I should define them for you:
Steadfast- resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering.
Love- a great interest or pleasure in or, to put it another way, to seek the highest good of another
Obviously, "love" is much more complex of a word in English than "steadfast" but clearly we are not talking about the love of pizza here, but rather, people. This is relational; God the Father and Creator is relational. His expectation for his followers is that we would be relational, as he is, and NOT just with those we are most comfortable loving. Again, we aren't talking about transaction- a giving to get, we are talking about the kind of relationship that took a perfect man to the cross, intentionally, out of his deep affection for me- WHILE I was still his antagonistic enemy, cursing his very existence and mocking his righteousness.
So you see where I'm going here, right? It's easy to love our children, or our parents (for some of us), our best friends who laugh at our jokes and eat our cooking. It's easy to "love" in the brief interactions with the cashier at the grocery store, or the kids that hang out with our kids. We easily love the football team or the neighbors- whether they shovel for us all winter or not. Some of us can even love our in-laws and their in-laws without even stretching a single muscle. Love itself is not hard.
Steadfast love, now that is graduate school kind of effort. "Resolutely" and "unwavering" give the idea that there's a bit of resistance to, or against, that kind of relating. It gives the idea that it withstands the storms, unscathed. This is more than "my spouse had a bad day and acted a bit cold towards me" kind of a storm...
The only way to really understand this love is to go to places in scripture that had almost become innocuous to me before January. The obvious place would be 1 Corinthians 13 to get an understanding of what God means when he says the word "love", because Webster keeps changing his mind and God never will.
Clearly the entire (short) chapter of 1 Corinthains 13 as it is written is important and valuable for further understanding, but for the sake of time I am going to bounce into the list of Love's credentials and benefits found in the chapter and develop them for you a bit:
It is patient; it is not impatient.
It is kind; it is not mean.
It is not envious or boastful, but it does celebrate other's success.
It's not arrogant or rude, but is humble and respectful.
It does not insist on it's own way; it does defer to other's ways.
It's not irritable or resentful; it is peaceful and forgiving.
It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but does rejoice in the truth.
It bears everything; it does not crumble under the weight of hardship.
It believes everything, it does not doubt or call into question the truth.
It hopes in everything; it does not ever lose hope.
It endures everything; it does not quit.
It's eternal; it does not expire.
It's the greatest of all of the attributes- above even faith and hope.
It is the key to attaining, and the vehicle of sharing, everything of prophecy, knowledge, mysteries, truth and sacrifice.
So, this starts to hurt when I line myself up to this list. Let me just show you by taking the most natural love relationship, the love of a mother for her children as an example. If you're a parent, you'll "hear" me, but even if you aren't, you see this in nature and in your community every day. There's no question the natural human love of a mother is the strongest and most pure form of love available to a human. Isaiah 49:15 says of mothers "Can a mother forget the child at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Even if that were possible, I would not forget you."
Now that I've established the impossibility of a mother to NOT love her child, I line myself as a mom up to the standard:
Have I ever lost patience, or insisted upon my own way with them? Have I ever lost hope or called into question the truth about them? How about irritability? Or resentment towards them? Well, you catch my drift without perusing the rest of the list. I haven't even loved the children of my own womb perfectly. There's a limit to the storm-proofing of my steadfastness even in the most natural of relationships. SO, how do I emulate the kind of love that wins the war and keeps me safe on the battle field?
And so I'm learning that the question above directs the silk of Truth to loop back and knot into forgiveness, and then back into humility, picking up mercy and faithfulness as it weaves back into corporate repentance and carefully re-loops into righteousness and all the others; then He carefully ties them all together in me. This tapestry culminates in the woven display of the bloody and terrible day on the cross when my enemy, Jesus, cried out in his day of trouble "Father, FORGIVE HER, she knows not what she is doing..."
And so today I find myself one day closer to being prepared for war.
All very well said, Collene!
ReplyDelete'Tis apparent from your observations that God, our Father, Yehuah of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, is the same loving, forgiving, merciful Creator He has been since the beginning and will ever so be.